Operation: Happily Ever After
by Lily10
Summary: Just another crazy school event orchestrated by Milly involving paintball, hungry cats, stairs, tic-tac-toe and Lelouch dressed up as a dragon. Oh and Suzaku and Kallen get married. ....Wait, what? Lelouch/Kallen/Suzaku, Suzaku/Arthur
1. Chapter 1

**Title**: Operation: Happily Ever After  
**Author**: Lily  
**Fandom**: Code Geass  
**Characters/Pairings**: Ashford student council (minus Nina because she sucks), Lelouch/Kallen, Suzaku/Kallen, Suzaku/Arthur

**Summary**: Just another crazy school event orchestrated by Milly involving paintball, hungry cats, stairs, tic-tac-toe and Lelouch dressed up as a dragon. Oh and Suzaku and Kallen get married. (...Wait, what?)

* * *

The sky was illuminated in various hues as the sun, barely visible, sunk over the horizon.

"Pretty sunset," Suzaku observed, looking far off into the distance at the spectacular sight.

"Shut up." Kallen advised.

Suzaku of course, couldn't help but detect a note of bitterness in her tone.

"What's wrong?" he asked, shifting to look at the young red head standing stiffly by his side. Kallen's left eyebrow began to twitch.

"Wrong? _Wrong?"_ She hissed, and glared at him pointedly. "Take a good look at our surroundings and then ask me that again!"

Suzaku heeded her advice and looked down at his white tux and at the beaded multi layered wedding gown Kallen was wearing. He looked at the brightly lit stage they were standing on and the dozens of students in the audience. Then he looked at Milly standing before them dressed like a priest with a bunch of cue cards clutched in her hands.

"...ah."

* * *

Four hours ago...

* * *

It was two 'o clock in the afternoon inside the Lancelot's hanger when Suzaku realized that he'd forgotten it was his day to feed Arthur.

Racing back to school with an urgency akin to a parent who had left their toddler at the airport, Suzaku arrived at the academy, sweating and out of breath. His danger senses were prickling however, along with the hairs on the back of his neck once he saw Milly standing on a soap box with a mega-phone in hand.

"GUTS!" She was yelling at what looked like a queue of apprehensive looking guys in front of the student council clubhouse. "GUTS!"

"Uh, Kaichou?" Suzaku interjected, "What's going on?"

"Hm?" Lowering her mega-phone, and diverting her attention to Suzaku, a wide grin immediately spread on Milly's features. "Suzaku! I thought you were busy with military work today?"

"Ah, yes I was. But then I remembered that I haven't fed Arthur lunch yet..."

"Oh really?" Milly tilted her head and tapped a finger against her chin. "Well I'm sure he'll be fine. Lelouch and Kallen are there with him and there are snacks in the cupboards."

"_Human_ snacks maybe," Suzaku couldn't help feeling that she should be displaying more concern over the matter, "but the cat food is in the kitchen pantry. I'll just go in quick and —"

An arm shot out and caught him in the chest. "Sorry Suzaku, but you can't go in," Milly informed him matter-of-factly, "a very important event is taking place in there at the moment."

Suzaku blinked in confusion. "An event? What kind of event?"

At this, Milly clasped her hands together and grew starry-eyed. "A gallant fight! Spectacular feats of daring and rescue!"

"What?"

She spun dramatically on the spot. "A race to test one's courage and devotion as they battle through obstacles of strength and wit for a young maiden's hand in marriage!"

_"What?"_

Milly seized Suzaku's shoulders and shook. "Love, Suzaku! _Love!"_

He could only shake his head in bewilderment. "Sorry, I still don't follow."

Milly sighed a weary sigh. "Kallen is locked up in the council room right now and whoever can get to her first will be wedded to her in holy matrimony at a special assembly in front of all the school."

There was a pause while he tried to take in what Milly had just described.

"...Why Kallen?" Suzaku found himself asking.

Milly shrugged her shoulders. "She lost in rock-paper-scissors. Besides, she's very popular as you can see." The blonde gestured to the line-up of defeated males looking forlornly up at the clubhouse.

Suzaku shook his head again. It was amazing how Milly came up with these things.

"All right then, I'll just call Lelouch and tell him to feed Arthur—"

Milly shook her head. "I told you, Arthur is with Lelouch and Kallen and they're locked in until someone wins the key from Shirley."

Suzaku was steadily growing irritated. "Then I'll call Shirley to unlock the door so _she_ can—"

Milly shook her head more furiously and folded her arms stubbornly. "The door is not to be open by anyone but the winner! Do you know how long it took for me to get Kallen in there in the first place?"

Lapsing into silence, Suzaku was just about ready to pull his hair out in frustration. Here he was standing outside while Arthur was cooped up and starving and probably feeling neglected and unloved which Suzaku couldn't blame him. How could he forget to feed the cat? It just seemed so obvious. Like not sticking your hand in the blender.

At that moment, Suzaku's entire demeanor changed. His depressed slump at imagining Arthur's poor hungry state was replaced by a fired up posture, raring for action. He was Kururugi Suzaku; a soldier— _nay_, a Knight — ready for battle.

"I will go inside myself and rescue Arth— I mean, Kallen." Suzaku announced, squaring his shoulders bravely.

Milly's eyes widened in interest. "Ehhhh? Suzaku, could it be that you...?"

But Suzaku was already dashing away towards his destination with the speed and grace of a gazelle.

* * *

Meanwhile, Kallen and Lelouch were playing tic-tac-toe together.

Kallen had long since come to accept her pitiful situation after spending about half an hour working out her escape options which were sadly very, very limited. Other than the doorway, there was the balcony but she was too high up to make a jump of it. Resigned to her fate as a mere prize, Kallen resolved to bear through this ordeal with grace and dignity.

"I win," Lelouch said for the millionth time as he drew a line through a diagonal row of Os. He had removed the head to his costume earlier in order to keep from dying of a heat stroke but he still looked ridiculous in the bottom half of the huge green dragon costume Milly had forced him to put on.

Still. Kallen scowled. "_I_ should've been the dragon." she muttered out loud. Lelouch was prettier, let him be the damsel-in-distress. Goodness knows he couldn't even walk up the stairs without breaking a sweat.

"You know why." Lelouch stated calmly. "Your rock was on the receiving end of my well-timed paper."

Kallen crossed her arms and looked away. "Frankly, I never understood how paper can beat rock. A rock can quite easily cover it too and then what?" she argued passionately, "Crumpled paper, that's what! The whole thing is backwards."

"Paper beats rock. Those are the rules." Lelouch simply replied.

"Screw the rules! Where's the logic? The fairness in that?"

"You're just being a sore loser. "

In the corner of the room, Arthur began hissing loudly.

"What's up with that cat?" Lelouch questioned, looking around to see if Suzaku had mysteriously popped up somewhere.

"I think he's hungry." Kallen said, putting aside her feelings of resentment. Getting up from her cross-legged position on the floor, she approached the cat sympathetically. "I think it was Suzaku's turn to feed him, but he wasn't here today, was he?" Looking through the cupboards inside the council room, all Kallen could come up with was a box of Lindor chocolates.

"Don't feed him that. Chocolate is poisonous for cats." Lelouch said, waddling up to stand beside her.

"I wasn't going to." Kallen said crossly, putting the box back in the drawer and poking Lelouch's cushioned tummy. "But what are we going to do? He needs to be fed something."

"Nya nya nyaaa" Arthur mewed hungrily.

Lelouch gave a disinterested glance at the cat. "There's nothing we can do until someone unlocks this door. He'll just have to wait."

In a split second's time Arthur had launched itself at Lelouch's face. First there was no cat, then _boom_. It felt like someone had snipped a few panels from a manga sequence. Hissing and spitting and clawing, Arthur was clearly livid with hunger and rage at being so casually dismissed.

A high pitch scream tore from Lelouch's throat as he tipped backwards and writhed on the floor in agony.

"Arthur, no!" Kallen's shouts mingled in with Lelouch's anguished wails as she pried the cat off Lelouch's face. With another hiss, Arthur twisted away from Kallen's grip and leaped to the floor where he began to prowl up and down the room agitated; his hair standing on end.

Kallen winced at the myriad of scratches now adorning Lelouch's face.

"That cat!" Lelouch exclaimed, looking more than a little deranged as he pointed a shaking finger at the cat in question. "That cat is—"

Kallen quickly covered his mouth with her hands. "Shhhh! He'll hear you!" Indeed, Arthur looked ready to pounce on Lelouch again.

Paling considerably, Lelouch shut his mouth and let her clean his wounds with minimal "ow ow owing".

"Arthur's not usually like this." Kallen felt the need to defend, "he's just hungry is all." She coaxed a hand towards Arthur in an effort to prove that he was still the adorable cat the student council knew and loved but quickly withdrew when Arthur made a swipe with his sharp claws.

"This is all Suzaku's fault." Lelouch said darkly and struggled to sit up. After a minute of watching him huff and puff and flail his limbs around, Kallen eventually took pity and helped Lelouch to his feet.

"This costume is hard to move in." Lelouch said defensively before cramming the dragon head back on as a protective measure from any further scratching.

"Uh huh."

* * *

Suzaku was currently slinking his way down a hallway with his back to the wall like a spy in a B-movie.

That is, until he took a couple of steps forward and promptly found himself swaying upside down from a rope wrapped around his right ankle. Apparently, he'd triggered some sort of booby trap. Milly hadn't been kidding when she said there'd be obstacles.

But he had to keep going. Had to. Arthur was counting on him.

* * *

Lelouch and Kallen were both huddled in a corner as Arthur watched them from across the room unblinkingly, his tail swinging back and forth impatiently.

"Kallen?"

"Yes Lelouch?"

"Are we going to die?"

"...D-Don't be so melodramatic..."

Lelouch began to laugh. And, because laughing hurt his face, he also started to cry.

Kallen gave him an odd look.

* * *

...tbc...

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

* * *

As Suzaku hung upside down from the ceiling, contemplating Lelouch's manly beauty, his insinuations about Arthur, and the meaning of life, he realized he wasn't the only one with a rope around his ankle.

"Rivalz?!" Suzaku exclaimed.

"Hey," said Rivalz.

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm in charge of setting up the booby traps," The blue haired teen explained, as he swung back and forth like a pendulum, "but I accidentally triggered one of them. Thank god you're here, Ive been hanging up here for the last couple hours."

Suzaku nodded. Rivalz wasn't the brightest bulb in the bunch. Perhaps with all the blood rushing to his brain at the moment, it would improve his intelligence a little. Sliding a pocket knife out of his pants and curling his body upwards, Suzaku cut himself free and dropped on his feet to the marble floor before freeing Rivalz as well.

"So what about you?" Rivalz asked curiously, after landing face-planted on the floor. His eyes narrowed. He never would have suspected Suzaku to have the hots for Kallen.

"Going to feed Arthur."

"Oh." Rivalz's tense form relaxed.

"Yeah."

It suddenly dawned on Rivalz that Suzaku would need help in getting through Milly's crazy event alive.

"Shall we do this together, buddy?" Rivalz asked, putting an arm around Suzakus shoulders.

"Don't touch me," Suzaku warned. Rivalz quickly withdrew his arm. "But yes, let's do it... together." He trailed off and scanned his surroundings warily. It was quiet.

Too quiet.

Suzaku suddenly pushed Rivalz out of the way and somersaulted backwards where what looked like blue paint splattered two inches from where they had just been standing. Looking up, Suzaku found himself right in the path of a student wearing a pair of sunglasses and equipped with a large paint gun.

The guard immediately pulled out a walkie-talkie. "We've got an intruder on the first floor---"

No time to think. Suzaku leapt forwards in one smooth motion and kicked the walkie-talkie out of his hand, grabbed the collar of Rivalz's shirt and took off down the hall, no longer worried about keeping his steps silent. Heartbeat pounding in his ears, he careened through but stopped suddenly.

Two guards. Two. In front of him. Both wearing black and carrying paint guns like they were part of the mafia or the yukaza or any some such crime gang. These two were smart enough to move first. One jumping backwards; the other trying to move forwards. They were going to try to trap him between them apparently.

In a move worthy of Mission Impossible, Suzaku rolled out of the way as the two students became trigger happy and dodged the paintballs being shot at him. He ran across the wall and promptly, Spinzaku'd them into oblivion (_Spinzaku _of course, being a reference to his godlike ability to jump ten to thirty feet into the air, spin like a ballerina in a flawless circle towards the direction of his target and then promptly kicking them in the head).

"Here!" He shouted, tossing one of the paint guns to Rivalz.

"Suzaku, I'm scared!" Rivalz whined.

Ignoring him, Suzaku strained his ears and heard several footsteps in the stairwells, voices, echoing.

He looked around.

A vent. A window. A hallway. Several doors.

The vents were out, the window was out. The hallway provided no cover.

Suzaku shoved Rivalz through a random door and sprinting in after him. The latter was now crying and hyperventilating.

"Get a hold of yourself!" Suzaku ordered, backslapping Rivalz across the face to put an end to the other boys hysterics before slapping him again because it felt good.

As Rivalz sniffled in the corner, Suzaku realized that they were in the kitchen. Why the student council clubhouse even _had_ a kitchen to begin with was neither here nor there but can be attributed to the simple fact that Ashford Academy mostly boasted students from insanely wealthy Brittannian families. Suzaku's heart gave a little leap and he began haphazardly throwing the cupboards open in his hectic search for Arthur's cat food. Specifically the Iams cans consisting of chunks of meat in gravy. Arthur liked those -- it made his coat extra soft and shiny.

It quickly became apparent however, that there was no cat food to be found anywhere in the kitchen. Actually, there was no food at all save for Lelouch's stash of Gatorade, due to the giant food fight Milly had initiated yesterday. But that was another story entirely.

Devastation lined the contours of Suzaku's profile as he leaned heavily against the stove in order to keep himself standing in the face of this painful blow upon his psyche. He had failed his mission. Even more tragically --- he had failed Arthur.

"I am such a failure." Suzaku softly stated.

"Hush. Dont talk like that," Rivalz touched Suzakus arm fleetingly. "For gods sake, you're only one man..."

"But he _counted_ on me. He counted on me and I let him down."

"Suzaku its not too late, you haven't lost. We can still run to the store -- I can get my bike..."

"I'm already lost Rivalz!" Suzaku screamed and his anguished cry was like a thousand knives piercing the depths of Rivalz's soul. "I'm already lost..."

A new voice broke in, interrupting the emo fest.

"Looking for this?" said Nina, who had been hiding under the table for three hours, waiting for this very moment. She crawled out with a can of cat food in one hand and a paint gun in the other.

Suzaku looked down at the pasty girl and squinted. "Who are you?"

Nina's large doe-like eyes behind her spectacles blinked in confusion. "Its me --- Nina. Nina Einstein."

"...Come again?"

"I'm in the student council with you..."

"......."

"I'm the president of the I Heart Euphemia fan club..."

"......"

"I demonstrate xenophobic tendencies towards Elevens..."

"......"

"I'm - but you - _Oh screw it._" Nina angrily snapped.

And then it hit him. Screw. A metal fastener used to hold objects together. Knightmares have screws. Lancelot was a Knightmare. Suzaku Kururugi piloted Lancelot. _He_ was Suzaku Kururugi, currently at Ashford Academy. School. Campus. Brandon Quinn from _Big Wolf On Campus_. Werewolves reminded him of full moons. Serena from Sailor Moon. And the name Serena rhymed with....!

"Nina!" Suzaku gasped.

There was a disgusted look on Ninas face. "About time!"

"Yes.. well... give me the cat food." Suzaku demanded.

Knowing it was her one and only leverage, Nina clutched the can tight against her chest and shook her head defiantly. Milly had trusted her to do everything she can to keep anyone participating in the event antagonized.

Rivalz on the other hand, tsked and shook his head, hands on his hips. "Oh Nina, you poor naïve little girl. Do you _really_ want him to Spinzaku yo ass?"

"What are you talking about?" Nina frowned. "I'm way over here on the other side of the room. He cant just leap ten feet into the air, spin around and---"

"Try me." Suzaku shrugged.

"Even if you could, I'd shoot you first." Nina insisted.

"If you say so." Suzaku said mysteriously.

And then it hit her. Stage 16. Mao kidnaps Nunnally. Suzaku and Lelouch team up. Suzaku manages to destroy a ceiling-mounted remote machine gun with a lag time of 0.05 seconds while unarmed by running up a wall and kicking it.

"..You can have the cat food." Nina consented, holding out the can in her hand for him to take.

"Wise choice."

* * *

Arthur had just recently retreated inside his cat house for the time being and Lelouch felt it was safe enough to talk again.

"Pssst," he nudged Kallen in the ribs.

"What?" She whispered back.

"I think we should feed the cat those chocolates in the cupboard." Lelouch wasted no time in replying.

Kallen raised an eyebrow. "But you just told me that chocolate was poisonous to cats."

Lelouch gave her a _look_. "Exactly."

Kallen promptly smacked him upside the head.

"_Hey!_"Lelouch said in indignation for she had knocked the head of his dragon costume off in the process, where it rolled into forbidden territory (AKA. Arthur's side of the room which was approximately three-quarters of the entire area).

"We are _not_ feeding the cat chocolate." Kallen said. "And anyways, he's too smart for that."

"But if we don't do something soon, that cat is going to eat _us_."

"Arthur wouldn't eat us." Kallen said dismissively, but with a tone of uncertainty in her voice.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that." Lelouch told her gravely.

Trying hard not to look creeped out, Kallen darted her eyes around the room and made sure that Lelouch was closer to the cat house. She figured the noise of Arthur eating him first would be enough to warn her so that she could flee to safety.

"Well if he did, he'd go for you first. He hates you more." Kallen said, trying to use some resemblance of twisted rationalizing to feel better about the whole situation.

"No I'm too skinny. He'd definitely eat you before me." Lelouch argued, eyeing Kallen's chest significantly.

One minute later, Lelouch was cradling his sore cheek and moaning in pain.

"By the way, I'm glad you finished crying." She said, changing the topic.

"I wasn't _crying_." Lelouch protested at once.

"Yes you were," Kallen informed, a slight disturbed look on her face. "You were crying and laughing at the same time."

"I was _not._"Lelouch glared. "...But if I was - which I _wasn't _- it would've been because of the terrible wounds that cat inflicted upon me. Which is, as you know, quite understandable considering the ---"

Kallen suddenly covered Lelouch's mouth with her hand.

"_Shhh_ did you hear that?"

Lelouch immediately stilled and after a moment, Kallen withdrew her hand. The creaking sound of a squeaky door hinge opening accompanied by faint scratching, as if a set of claws were dragging itself across wood filled the air while the door to Arthur's elaborate cat house swung slowly open. Both Lelouch and Kallen unconsciously huddled closer together and closed their eyes in terror as the scratching sounds grew louder and louder. It seemed to them, the ominous sounds of someone sharpening their knives in preparation of some sort of special culinary event.... Kallen opened her eyes just in time to see a paw slither up the wall towards the light switch.

And then the lights went out.

* * *

"Move! Move! Move!" Suzaku hollered, running like the wind. He was followed closely by Rivalz and Nina as they scrambled up a flight of stairs to the second floor of the clubhouse. Behind them, a plethora of people dressed as ninja warriors were chasing the trio.

"Get back you dogs!!! BACK I SAY!!!" Rivalz shouted, aiming his gun behind him and letting loose a barrage of paintballs at their opponents. One of the ninja warriors received three rapid-succession shots to the face and tumbled backwards down the stairs like a human boulder, leaving a trail of blue paint and taking out four others in his wake.

"Duck!" Nina shrieked as one of the ninjas threw a dozen paper shuriken towards them. Suzaku did what he did best and spun in the air; managing to deflect every shuriken from landing a nasty paper cut on the three.

"I love you," Rivalz blurted out to Suzaku as the two plus Nina continued to run frantically.

"What?"

"...What?"

Giving Rivalz a thoroughly suspicious glance, Suzakus attention refocused on the task at hand. Tearing around a corner, he concentrated on finding enough turns and twists in the hallway to hopefully confuse the ninja warriors following them.

Nina suddenly tripped and sprawled forward on the ground.

"NINA!" Rivalz screamed, stopping.

"No run!" Nina shook her head, still laying on the floor. "Save yourselves!"

"We have to leave her!" Suzaku yelled, grabbing Rivalz's arm and pushing him forward.

* * *

The silence was overwhelming. Lelouch and Kallen found themselves practically sitting on each others laps as they tearfully waited for evil to feast upon their virgin flesh.

"I think hes toying with us." Kallen murmured, lips barely moving as she strained her eyes against the darkness for any signs of further movement.

"Since we shall be meeting our deaths at any second now, I'd like you to know that I think your breasts are beautiful and that I've always been aroused by them." Lelouch whispered somberly like a man on his death bed.

"And I with you." Kallen confessed. "Except substitute _'breasts' _with _'eyes'_."

"I collect fanny packs."

"I'm scared of Cabbage Patch Dolls."

"On Sundays, I pretend I'm Luluko and wear Nunnally's dresses."

"I'm not a real red-head."

"I understand what Shakespeare is saying."

"I find brushing my teeth soothing."

"Sometimes I just want to be held."

They lapsed back into silence, each digesting what had just happened.

"I wish the lights weren't off. It's so cold and dark..." Lelouch shivered. "Like my soul."

Kallen gave him an odd look.

* * *

...tbc...

* * *


End file.
